mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
