Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
