I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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