i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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