We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
