Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
