if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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