If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
