he was CRYING into my vagina
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
