also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You may now shotgun with the bride
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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