I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
