You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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