She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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