Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
