arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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