So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Of course I have a pirate flag
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
