Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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