Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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