Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
