He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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