Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This baby is an asshole
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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