All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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