I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
