i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
