I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
