remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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