White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
