I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
