Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
