i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
