big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
