its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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