Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
