listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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