Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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