Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
