shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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