Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
