Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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