I think I died a long time ago.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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