White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Enjoy the penises
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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