Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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