Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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