so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
