where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
