just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
