oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
