My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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