you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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