sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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