Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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