he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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