Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
