my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
