Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i think i have two assholes
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize