I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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