Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
