dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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